Author: Destiny Breaux

Chasing Destiny

January 13, 2025

          In the midst of contemplating life, it is natural to question the how and why. Why am I here? How did I get here? Will I leave anything behind of significance to those around me or the world? I can say at this moment in time, leaving anything to the world seems pretty farfetched. Utterly unrealistic. I vividly recall standing in the center of the United States Capitol for the first time. I felt so small within the Rotunda. The height of it. The profound architecture that tells the story of our nation’s origin. Every detail flooding over me and impossible to take in. I was not prepared for what was next—the National Statuary Hall. It is filled with statues of individuals donated by each state. Admiring these statues, I felt inspired by individuals that have walked the journey of greatness—some knowingly and with purpose, others by coincidence. I left this tour with a deep sense of appreciation for those who have paved the way for my freedom, education, and opportunity. I was consumed by thoughts of contributing more to the nation and world through advocating for accessibility in healthcare. This pushed me through law school. It fueled my desire to interpret and analyze the law. To think critically. Every single day as I would drive the commute between Lafayette and Baton Rouge, I would listen to the song “Confidence” by Sanctus Real. The lyrics of this song inspiring me to believe in my capabilities and trust God’s purpose. The lyrics boldly proclaiming,

“I’m not a warrior, I’m too afraid to lose

I feel unqualified for what you are calling me to do

But Lord with your strength, I’ve got no excuse

‘Cause broken people are exactly who you use

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense

So I can face my giants with confidence”

We are all on borrowed time, limited to just a short existence. It has been nearly three years since I finished law school. Yes, I am proud of this accomplishment. But the reality that I have made zero advances towards the once all consuming goal to increase the accessibility of healthcare has haunted me. I have even questioned if that ‘yearning’ every truly did exist. I wonder what happened to that once overwhelming goal. I undeniably beat myself up—internal punches and a roller coaster of mental mind games.

When I force myself to look at the passing years and where I am. I find a different kind of accomplishment. No, it is not world changing. No, I am not lessening the burden on anyone else’s life. No I am not inspiring anyone. It is a different kind of accomplishment. The kind that you cannot put a price tag on. I am walking the journey of motherhood. I am not a warrior in the typical sense, I am a warrior of motherhood. In my final semester of law school, I found out I was pregnant with my sweet Aussie. Now, nearly two and a half years later, I am now pregnant with another stinky boy. In this recent pregnancy, I have been on bed rest for a hematoma and severely ill nearly each day with nausea and vomiting, Most days, it takes every ounce of strength that I possess to even get out of bed and dress. There are some ‘good’ days, but the difficult ones have far outweighed the good. This storm, while knowingly fleeting, has caused immeasurable self-doubt. While I am blessed with an amazing partner who never complains when I cannot cook, clean, or play chauffer to our fourteen-year-old’s demanding schedule, the weight of feeling like a failure in the journey of motherhood is only a feeling that another mother can relate too. The weight of these emotions can be taxing, but the necessity to conquer those emotions and harness them into positive thoughts has become an important daily task. With this season of life, I find myself expressing gratitude for every small victory and every person that offers their love and assistance to making this journey even an ounce easier. I find solace in a daily reminder to thank God for the ability to carry this baby and grow our family. A daily reminder that even if I am tackling my world from my bed, it is a temporary storm, one that I will be stronger for overcoming. It is in gratitude that I am growing. So, my current truth is that in this storm I needed to exercise gratitude for the beautiful life that I have been granted and patience for what is to come. I will continue to muster up every ounce of faith, hope, and confidence that I can find and I hope you will too. For now, Chasing Destiny is still a journey worth traveling.