What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a familiar question for my teen. It’s a great conversation starter. It allows opportunity for discussion and awareness of her interest. Don’t get me wrong it is not a bad question, but she is fifteen and the pressure to answer can be overwhelming. Who knows exactly what they want to be when they grow up at 15? How many of you actually grew up to be what you thought you wanted to be at 15?

I decided to shift that conversation in our home. I no longer ask her what she wants to be when she grows up. She comes to me with great career options and we discuss them, but that conversation is focused on something different.

The new question is “What do you want your life to look like when you get older?”

Yes, we need her to have a career. The necessity for financial independence is not going away, but more importantly, we want her to find joy. So I ask her the hard questions. It is easy to say that you want to be a doctor, lawyer, or teacher. It’s also great to have big goals and dreams. But I ask, do those goals and dreams align to what you want your life to look like on a daily basis?

Do you want to wake up in the morning next to your spouse and children? Or, do you want to travel the world?

Do you want to be tied to an office or do you want flexibility to attend your children’s school events and after school activities? Do you want to drop off and pick up? Do you want to work the PTC?

Do you hope to have the flexibility for lunch with your spouse or friend, or a workout?

Do you want to settle where you grew up? Do you want to continue to be a part of the church community here or do you want to build new relationships and a new community?

Do you want to live close to family for support or do you want to move and build your own friendships and village?

To clarify, there aren’t any wrong or right answers. It’s simply questions to ponder for long term joy. Society often tells us that we need to pick a career, but what about carving out a life that brings you immeasurable joy. I’m not talking about happiness. There will always be good and bad days. There will be challenges. I’m talking about long lasting happiness and contentment. The kind that radiates from you and allows you to fill your cup and the cup of others.

As a child, no one ever asked me what I wanted my life to look like. God blessed me immensely by giving to me what I didn’t know I wanted or needed.

So, the question around here is

“What do you want your life to look like when you grow up”

and, from there, we will figure out the best career. A career that won’t define your entire personality. A career that will allow you to live in a place of joy to be the best version of yourself.

To my Elle, I love you. God has beautiful plans for your life. Keeping making good choices. Keep working hard. Keep putting him first. Let his voice lead you.