A mom’s prayer.

Bedtime here is, quite frankly, a disaster. Honestly, thats putting it lightly. It’s a dumpster fire. My husband and I both dread it. I mean, we don’t dread the sleep. Actually, we desperately need it. We are both running off very little with a four month old. The low down is that our almost three year has co-slept with us since he was exclusively breastfed and side nursed. From the moment he was born, he wouldn’t allow us to put him in the bassinet. He never napped in his crib or a swing or the car seat. It was our bed or our arms and truthfully, neither of us thought it was the end of the world. We enjoy the snuggles and peaceful love, but there is an external pressure to get him sleeping alone. An external pressure from society that tells us that we are doing something wrong. A little voice that tells us that we need to put him in his bed by a certain time or we are failing him. We have been fighting this sleep thing with him for months and tonight we finally looked at each other and gave up. Why are we forcing him to go to sleep in the dark alone and afraid? After sitting in his room next to him for an hour with no sign of sleep, my husband did the easy thing—put him in our bed, and you know what? Within five minutes he was sound asleep. So, we have made the decision that the external pressure to get him out of our bed is no longer going to get to us. We are no longer fighting the good fight. We will put him next to us where he feels safe and loved to have the sweetest dreams. There will be no childhood trauma about bedtime. No stories about being left alone in the dark afraid of monsters.

And, tonight, after he was sleeping soundly next to me. I grabbed the baby and held him in my other arm. I put my hands over both of them and I prayed for both of them to be filled with desire to know and love God. I asked for the Holy Spirit to fill their little hearts and minds, and then, I said my favorite prayer over them…the Hail Holy Queen

Because you know what, the world is busy. It moves so fast. It expects so much of us. But at night when it’s dark and time feels a little slower, I can’t help but whisper a sweet little prayer over my cosleeping babies. 🩷